Dear...

Dear Fool Who Seems to enjoy emailing my company lambasting what we do:

I sincerely appreciated yet another of your emails to my company telling me what a hateful person I must be for doing what I do and how what I do is truly a sign that the apocolypse is near. We at XYZ company always enjoy reading emails from potential customers and will take your comments into consideration.

However, it would certainly help further your cause if you would consider doing the following:

1. When sending multiple emails from "multiple" people - it would be far more convincing if said "other" people didn't use word choices and a grammatical style that is eerily similar to your own.

2. When sending multiple emails from "multiple" people it would be far more convincing if said "other" people didn't misspell the same words you did. I could understand if they were big words but your vocabulary does not seem to extend beyond a fifth grade level. But then again neither does your spelling ability.

3. I would be much more willing to engage in a discussion with you if you didn't choose to hide behind fake email address and an apparent multiple personality syndrome.

4. I would take you more seriously if it didn't appear as though you get your jollies by anonymously emailing people you don't know and accusing them of horrible deeds. That just makes you creepy.

Lastly, I realize that you like to think of me as the devil incarnate, but I like to think of you as a troll who is 49 and lives in your mother's basement while getting your jollies by randomly emailing individuals. But if emailing me and getting absolutely no response makes you happy then feel free to keep it up because we at XYZ company want nothing more then to make sure our potential customers are happy.

Sincerely,

Top Dog
XYZ Company Founder